I got my bachelor's degree when I was a spinster. I had always felt that we are only trying to fit into a man's world when it comes to education and career. However, we are definitely progressing. How do I know?
1930s
My grand mother was allowed to study only upto the 5th grade and got married at the age of 17, even though her father was a Tahsildar. I still find it difficult to understand how she was allowed to learn music but was denied education. However, her brother went to college and settled for a decent Government job. My grand mother had 5 kids.
1950s
My mother went to college, got married at 25 and got into a government job. Her career lasted for 30 years. During both her child births, she had to leave the 3 month old infant and go to work, as the government allowed only 3 months of maternity Leave and no extra leaves were given. Her education and career had helped her to bring up her 2 kids after her husband's demise at a very early age. He had left behind a 3 year old (me) and a 6 year old (my brother) when he passed away.
1980s
I did my Masters and became a software engineer and got married at 25 (when I was 2 years into the IT industry). Why am I talking about marriage every time? Because if you don't have a career before marriage, it is most likely that you will not have one in your life. Even if you have one, it is most likely that you will quit after child birth.
There is Hope!
There were 2 incidents in my 13 year old career that make me strongly believe that we are progressing and we can be the change we expect in the society.
I was a junior engineer when I got married. I continued my career during my pregnancy and took 6 months of maternity leave. Those days, the government allowed only 3 months of ML. I had to take 3 months of loss of pay.
When I rejoined, my baby was still too young. After a C-section and several sleepless nights with the baby, and all the postpartum depression stuff which no one talks about (a topic for another day) I was physically and mentally weak to say the least.
I had to use the office bus which meant that I had to stay in office for 10.5 hours and spend more than 2 hours travelling to and from the office. I had to be away from my baby for almost 12 hours. The remaining time is meant for sleeping. I could hardly spend time with her.Everyday I started from my house at 7:30 AM and returned home at 7:30 PM.
I was struggling and had only 2 things in mind :
1. What if the bus could start at 5:30 PM from office everyday? We could avoid the heavy traffic and reduce the travel time and reach home early.
2. What if we had a creche in our office campus? I need not stop feeding my baby at such a young age and introduce bottles.
That is when I found a forum in my company's intranet site, where the employees could write down their concerns directly to the CEO. It was called some thing like,'Letter to the CEO'.
I wrote down those 2 expectations, explaining the fact that, young mothers like me would struggle to continue our careers this way. It was an emotional letter to the CEO, but to be honest, I never thought it would have any effect.
Believe it or not, I got a call from the HR department on the very next day. The HR personnel promised me that within a few months we will have a creche facility inside the campus and she said that this has already been under discussion for some time.
After a few months we received an email from the transport desk that the office bus would start at 5:30 PM going forward, to avoid the heavy traffic during the peak hours. I strongly believed and still believe that, it was due to my letter to the CEO. However the creche facility never came to our campus until I quit the organization.
After a few years, my friend who was a new mother working there called me and told me that a new creche facility was functioning in the campus and she was using it. I strongly believed and still believe that it was due to my letter to the CEO.
These 2 incidents made me realise that our voices are heard. But unfortunately we whine most of the time and stop there. We fail to raise our voices. As the tamil proverb goes, 'The baby that cries the most gets the milk.' Our voice might, or might not make a difference in our life. But it might bring about a change to our next generation of women. In the worst case, "Voiced and unheard, is better than not voiced at all."
Right from 1930s（My Grand mother's era) to 2021 we have evolved towards progression. Women are not denied education these days. But their career after child birth is still not a cake walk. I am sure every woman with a career will have a similar story to share. However, I am hopeful that my daughters will not have to go through this. In the history, revolutions have always happened in a short span of time.
The more we explain our genuine concerns to the right people, the more we are likely to bring about a change. Knock and it shall be opened. Ask and it shall be given. You can be the change!
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